Inspiration to follow your dream...

I came across an article today, that is an inspiration for all who want to be the best photographer they can be...
Who want to live their dream, but maybe are afraid to do so...like me.

"The Myth of Talent"

Words...

Always nice to find beautiful words..

“To live in this world, you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go”.
Mary Oliver

“The good shine from afar
Like the snowy Himalayas.
The bad don’t appear
Even when near,
Like arrows shot into the night.”
Buddha

YouTube Addiction

Not having a job has it's advantages...hours and hours of YouTube for example... Look what I dug up, thanx to a friend...hilarious, any cat lover will understand why...:)

Love your Car too Much?

I'm beginning to really like YouTube...especially the ads...they are hilarious...watch this one. For all you fooks who think materialism is not a problem...:)

Whatever...

My cat Thomas getting fed with me taking pictures of him

OMG, OMG, OMG, OOO MMM GGGGG

I just spoke with my brother on the phone...Iiiieeeeeeeeee. I'm so happy I could cry, dance...wow.
And he sounds real nice too. I'm gonna meet him next monday...
I'm so excited. And here is the bizarre thing. He was looking for me, the same time I was looking for him.
And he found me...I didn't leave that message on Hyves after all... How strange.
There is no such thing as coincidence. Thanx Mom...

Camping Rotterdam with RUPC

OMG

I am in total shock, in love with Hyves and again... in total shock. Want to know why? I have a half-brother I haven’t seen for about 24 years. I think, I was 9 and he was 1 year old the last time we met. Then his mother divorced my father and I lost track of him. Because my last visit was, to say the least, a bit traumatic, I decided to wait until he was about 18 to contact him. Well he’s been grown up for about 7 years now, but somehow I haven't found the nerve to go find him. Always an excuse why not to... But it has always been nagging around the edges of my mind. So about 2 months ago I was with a friend of mine, having a deep and somewhat emotional conversation and he popped up in my head again. So I thought what the heck, let’s just check Hyves and find out if he still lives in Rijswijk...and I found him...at least it could be him. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. After all these years and all the excuses, I just found him with one click of my mouse...what!???? I spoke to my friends what to send him, you just can’t drop in and say... “Hey I think I am your half-sis,” not knowing if he even knows himself that he has one.... But I don’t remember if I had the courage to send him that message. Now I check my Hyves account after about 2 months and there it is... a message from him asking me if he is my half-brother....OMG, OMG O...M...G. I replied of course, don’t know what this will bring, but I’m exited...and a “bit” scared too.

How to Listen

I have many talents and skills, but listening is not one of them. Because I have my second job interview on Monday (today) with a company I really like, I have to figure out what this “tone-deaf, not listening” story is all about. When I’m nervous the “Am putting my fingers in my ears, can’t hear you, lalala” mode seems to increase. It’s not that I don’t want to, honestly...I really, really want to. But it’s mostly that every word I hear, seems to trigger a bunch of associations that run away and go mess with my head. So after a few sentences my brain feels and sounds like an orchestra playing Bach, Mozart and Death Metal all at the same time. So no wonder I can’t concentrate enough to stand still and really listen.

And let’s not forget that when I’m nervous I seem to be in love with the sound of my own voice. All the while my inner voice tries to shout over the racket of that famous orchestra and tries hard to get hold of that Woody Woodpeckers beak and squeeze it tight. But when started that motor mouth just won’t shut it. So to be able to listen, I somehow have to quiet down those enthusiastic musicians and disable my face muscles (Botox?!). It seems like a “Mission Impossible”, but I have found a cure. I’m not one of those Hippie “be in touch with yourself and planet” kind of woman. But I have found that when I meditate at least 30 minutes at the end of the day and start the day with 10 sun salutations...the world seems to quiet down, my head comes awake with the bright lightness of being. And somehow...every word I hear makes sense. I feel like, to quote John Lennon...”All you need is love.”

Well I had my job interview today...I did meditate...a lot...and it went very well. So maybe next week I have another job...I don’t know, fingers crossed...and pstttttttt I DID end up listening...:)

Lady of the Lake

I have a joint expo at a festival in Vlaardingen, an X amount of artists and photographers have been given the opportunity to decorate the festival terrain with their work. The artworks and photo's will be attached to the fence surrounding the festival-grounds and as a bonus there is a sum of money to be won... So that makes it extra exiting. This photo was taken at about 6.30 am in the same park as the festival will be held, my neighbor was so sweet as to be posing as a model...turns out she used to dance and well...that came in handy. Very happy with this pict. The original size is even better...but well I had to crop it, to fit the fence. Now it looks as if she will just jump out to meet you...:) I hope to be using her more often as a model, we had so much fun and the light is just amazing that early in the morning.

Treasure....

Sometimes you get little presents you don't expect, like this picture. Being at the right place, at the right time with a cam in hand can be so wonderful. I was having a very funny photoshoot in the parc with miss H. Hopping over each other and strobing away. People staring at us funny. Writing silly things on our legs with a marker. And though most of my ideas didn't quite work out as I planned. I got an unexpected break, when a group of schoolkids came our way with a little frog in their hands. The beasty was quite fed up with being confined, but I managed to get this shot anyway. So thanx to these nice kids, I have a killerphoto and thanx to miss H. I still have tummy ache from laughing so loud. So thanx miss H., let's do that again sometime...:)

Salty Air

I miss the salty air of Terschelling, the way I seem to be able to breathe and exhale more deeply. I miss the shifting light that keeps illuminating the world around me, to leave me standing in the dark only seconds later. But in my mind I keep rewinding images of the soft glowing grass and colors getting bright and sparkly. And while shadows pass, where seconds ago color and life vibrated, I still see beautiful glimpses of a world better then where I am standing right now. Knowing that it will come again, if I am patient, if I am awake and if I just breathe.

Sexy High Heels

Ok I admit it, I'm a woman and shoes, well they seem to have a kind of magnetic pull. Especially if they are Italian designer shoes, with sexy high heels and soft Italian leather...and well they only cost a quarter of their original prize. It's a bargain and who can resist a bargain...not me, that's for sure.

I love the way they make me look and feel, all sexy, womanly and oh so powerful...I feel like shouting: "Watch out world, here I come."

And to top it all off, I bought an outfit to go with it, that says "Hire me, I'm different, you want different, or just well.... do you want me, do you, do you... try and catch me, but wait a sec while I put on my trainers...:)." I have my first job-interview next Wednesday and I think I will leave an impression. Fingers crossed.

How to be Homesick at Home Sweet Home...

I am Home Sweet Home, but I still feel Homesick. I already miss the sweet, heady smell of Terschelling, the smiling eyes of good friends and the bubbly feeling that I belong to strole on that beautiful island. Everything seems to shine brighter there, the colors are more vibrant, happiness seems to come effortlessly with sand between my toes and wind playing with my hair. It was pure bliss and now it is over...but I am charged once again and ready for my life on the mainland. Whatever may happen during these next 12 months...I will be on that boat next year...standing on deck and breathing in the salty air full of promisses of new adventures and new people to meet...I just have to wait... And well waiting sets my heart on fire and my soul ablaze...next year...next year...you'll see.

Lucky Me...Oerol Fantasy

You have days that you can only thank God or the Universe or the whatever entity somewhere pulling the strings to this crazy thing called Life... Because once in a while you realize that you are surrounded by special en loving people. Yesterday (and today) I had such a revelation. I had left a message on the voicemail of a good friend of mine, that I wasn't gonna make it to Oerol this year, because I lost my job quite suddenly. And money...well that was a bit of a problem (what else is new). The darling mailed me the next morning (yesterday) and said "Well grab your toothbrush, you can come to Terschelling, all expences paid, your tent is waiting. Love miss E and mister H" I had to swallow hard at that one...wow, Wow, WOW! She and her partner have a artproject on the beach I really wanted to see and I had been looking forward to going to the island. Then dear Murphy paid me a visit, couldn't go and then to make it all better.... I unexpectedly jumped in the train, leapt in the boat and I was off to my most beloved place...setting sail to Oerol and meeting my wonderful friends. Life is strange, wonderful and full of unexpected bits of happiness. I'm starting to believe that if you really believe the sun is out there somewhere, a ray of light will always find you one way or another...

He's just not that into you

The last couple of weeks I've been sort of interested in a guy I have know for ages. It took me by surprise and at first I didn't know what to do with myself, because it was so sudden. Let's face it... I'm dead shy when it comes to men I like. And that's a bit of a problem, because I seem so outgoing most of the time. So when I turn to being cold and distant all of a sudden, most men think, I don't like them anymore... How strange...:) The guy in question...let's call him mister A, has a lot of women buzzing around him. I call them barracuda's, because of their predator nature. I find this cat and mouse game quite amusing, beats lifeTV anytime. But yesterday I got a taste of the flip side of this game...karma will always be karma.  So I was strolling around on one of his Bohemian parties, very determined to go for it. Surprise, surprise, I chickened out and secondly I got the strong impression he was avoiding me with a passion. Only to have me realize that now I'm the one with the hungry look in my eyes and I'm scaring him off big time...I have drifted into deeper waters and am no longer that harmless little tropical fish with the nice shiny colors, but the dangerous and vicious barracuda ready to eat him alive. And then I realized another thing...."Hé girl, he's just not that into you...." Ouch...so much for my fluffed up ego...

Murphy's Law

How strange last Friday was... My best friend moving and leaving an Ocean of space between us, me not going to Artacademy after all and then to top it of...my boss calling me at 4.30 pm that I don't have to bother to come to work next Tuesday...because I'm fired....what? Yes FIRED...my contract ends today and the bastard called me 30 minutes in advance to tell me I don't have a job anymore... I'm totally flabbergasted, but that's not all...we all got fired, he is 65 and just wants to quite. We aren't even close to bankrupted... What an egotistic thing to do. How the hell am I gonna find a job I love so much as this one in...let's say... 20 hours? Beats me. But what the h... the weather is beautiful, let's forget about it and just enjoy the sun for a while...damn.

Saying Goodbye

My best friend is moving to St. Maarten and she's leaving next week.
We gave her a nice and private goodbye party yesterday, good food, good wine and good compagny. It doesn't hurt as much as a few weeks ago, but I am gonna miss her dearly.
She's quite a character and always makes me smile, we are always running from her house to mine, for there is only 1 house in between...:) It's going to be strange to not be able to do that anymore. But I wish her the best and a good adventure to boot. And there is always Skype...but it's not going to be the same...

Radio Silence

So strange...the radio silence I am receiving from what I thought to be a good friend. I don't know if I have to worry if she's all right or that something went horribly wrong between us last weekend. And I am totally oblivious to what the heck that could be... I've mailed, I've phoned...but nothing...not a blib or bleep. I think I will let it rest for a time now, maybe she just has to get her breath after 200 people visited our double exposition, maybe she has to regain her territory... I don't know... Strange...give me a good fight over radio silence every day... 

X-factor

Recent studies suggest that when a woman checks a man out, her first look is not towards his face but down under. I thought it was totally bullocks, but today I am in doubt. Today I was talking with a man I have known for quite some time and somehow, magically my eyes were contantly pulled down under...I could even call it staring...damn...and he noticed too...bummer. It is a good thing I can't blush so easily...being black does that to a person...but boy oh boy I could have lit a lighthouse. For his x-factor was like a biiiggggggggg magnet. And I was a willing subject...