Hello again...

Went to Amsterdam a while ago.
Shot these tourists from up up up close.
They never noticed, they were just captivated by their little camera screen and each other.
Wish I could feel that way...
When I look at my photo's, I just shrug and couldn't care less. Their closeness shoves my feelings of solitude right back in my face.

Don't know what's wrong with me lately.
For the last 2 weeks I have felt like crying big, heart wrenching sobs.
But instead I curl up and sleep 18 hours a day, barricading myself in my little home and feeling oh so sorry for myself.
There is no reason for me to feel this way. Nothing big has happened to me lately, except that 2 weeks ago I got sick and stopped running.
And it seems that something has caught up with me.
Like little creepy crawlers, Disappointment and Melancholy are here again, gnawing at my stupid heart and brain.

Maybe it's just that so many people close to me are not in a happy place right now. Maybe I feel scared for the world I live in every day... so much destruction, cruelty and stupidity. Maybe I long for a lover to share my little every day life with. Or maybe it's just that I don't feel happy with who I have become and where I am right now.
The feeling that I'm getting estranged from the me I used to be gets stronger every day.
Pretending to be someone I'm not and not liking the woman in the mirror.

Clueless who I want to be, desperately wanting to recover my passion in life.

Knowing that something has to change, now!

And secretly hoping that out of nowhere Prince Charming will appear to rescue me from this mess. So I don't have to be brave and blindly take the next step into the unknown.

Modelshoot

Animation Frenzy

Am working on an animation for the first time ever.

It's hard work, but sooooo much fun.

Here are the first seconds... I'm aiming at about 30 seconds of animation...

It's gonna be a fun proces!