Gilles de la Tourette Photographer...

She's been a sleep for a while, taking a well deserverd break from shooting a 1000 pictures a week during the Zomerterras in Vlaardingen (august)...but she's back! The one and only...Gilles de la Tourette Photographer of the World, the magnificant...Zoomfreaky....Wheeeeeeeeeee.

And now a bit more seriously. I lost a bit of my spunk due to overdoing what I love most. But the Photography course is really stimulating me again to pick up my friend and start roaming the streets once more...:) These are some pict of the last two days...







A sad old beaten Cadillac limo on my way to the trainstation (Rotterdam CS) on the way home....
Because I'm practicing to shoot in series I shot one half with a hard flash and hard contrast and the other out of my hand with motionblur....it was night already then. Has to give the photo's a hard edge. Hope it worked. The serie is not complete yet, think I'll have to go back a couple of times...but it's such a strange site to see, such a beautiful car...the holy cow of holy cows...standing sad but proud in a parkinglot, like it's gonna take off any minute now...a strange grave for one so beautiful...

Serious Photographer...em...Me?

Yesterday was the first night of my photocourse (?) at the SKVR (Las Palmas building Rotterdam). I was a bit nervous if I'm honest. Will I live up to standards..that sort of thing. But it's a nice group so I think I'm gonna be fine. The teacher shoots like I shoot only with a theme or concept that carries the photo's so I think I'm gonna learn a lot from her. She is really into presentation...and somehow I'm not with my photo's...so that's gonna be a learning point for me. The first assignment is "Man in Motion". Found it a bit dull, but have come up with a nice idea that jumps a bit out of the box...I hope. A little boy pointing at the mark on the doorpost....showing how tall he has become. Another viewpoint on the subject 'Man in motion' I think. Have the boy in mind...hope he has a doorpost with growthmarks on it at home.... :)

On the beach..

Went to the beach today with a couple of friends from Swiss. It felt so good to be outside...the light was just beautiful...soft air brushing against my skin. Didn't let my hair down (had my camera with me...so didn't want to see hair flopping in front of my lens). Enjoyed being in the open air. I promiss myself that I will do that more often.

The babyblue accents on the waves were really amazing, because the sky was just very grey but above the horizon the sky was baby blue and somehow, sometimes...this refected on the waves. Really special and strange...a hint of color in a grey world...like hope peeking round the corner.
We found some roses on the beach...and sticked them in the sand...such a beautiful and strange sight...


Love dogs on the beach... he really looked like he was having the time of his life... Run, run, run, ball, ball, ball, splash, catch....run, run, run.....Jippieeeeeee (Would love to be a dog on the beach some time...)


Oh and I raced through a red light...because it was like a Madurodam kind of size....er...very small...in the middle of the road...for no good reason I could see. I thought it might be a warning sign or something. But when I saw all the other people stop...oeps oeps oeps... Did I mention I rode up the wrong side of a parking lot this week. I think the local alarms should go off when I step into my little car. Thanx angels on my shoulder...good work this week...:) Phew!

A Chiwawa called Bobelientje

I had the strangest dream a couple of nights ago. I dreamt I had a dog. A dog called Bob or preferably Bobelientje...and he was a Chiwawa. A naughty little thing, mind you...but...er...a Chiwawa none the less. I woke up wondering what this could possibly mean. The only thing I could come up with was that I kind of like a man named Bob, he lives just around the corner of my street, wears wooden shoes, loves old moterbikes and I suspect him to be an Archeologist. But such a big man can hardly fit in a Chiwawa. I have to come up with a better theory then this one I suppose.

No next of Kin

I seem to live in a world that I don't recall. Fathers who don't act as fathers and only think of themselves. A person formally known as brother no. 2, tells me on the phone that I'm not direct next of kin and so am not invited to his private birthday party which only includes brothers and sisters. And hell if I'm not one of them. This came to me like a total shock...WHAT?!
I mean give me a break, I haven't felt up and running for a few months, with me doing 2 jobs at the same time, having to have my poor cat put to sleep, feeling detached from longtime friends, feeling bummer most of the time. But hé....there's always family...NOT. Not until your mother is dead like 13 years and you are considered a once upon a time stepsister who doesn't live just round the block. Oh fuck off.

I can understand that he wants to have a small party since his wife is pregnant and ready to burst and sick at the same time. But why does my other sister in law thinks it's only obvious that I should be there? Why does she expect me to be here, today on your sofa? Because she thinks I part of the family. How dare you be so cruel as to call me no next of kin in my face. That's why I'm so furious, who cares about an intimate dinner for....people. Those words you can't take back. And it makes it clear where you stand. Here is where I stand...piss off! You are no brother of mine. And dad if you're listening...you can bugger off too.

Balkan Beat Box & People at the Zomerterras Festival

I lovvvve my new lens. Took it out for practice on a band (Balkan Beat Box) at the Zomerterras in Vlaardingen and it left me breathless. It's a monster and I'm in love.
Mood was very nice Saturday, happy people all around and the music just made you wanna kick of your shoes and dance and jump the night away...:)

I do love a sexy chest...:)


There also was a Turkish Shoe polisher act that was really hilarious.
And lets not forget the people who stand out in the crowd...

Testing one, two...testing

I'm getting more and more used to my new camera, we are not lovers yet, but we're getting there. He is a complicated little thing, but that can only mean he will understand me once I get the hang of his bulk of instructions. Love his quick response and the sound of his shutter saying "Gotcha". Been out playing and not working today. Here are some of the pictures I took.

The Path of Desire / Het Pad van Verlangen

Last weekend was very exiting for me. After months of hard work, grey hairs and sometimes utter desperation...my art installation "The Path of Desire" finally stood shining like a candle in the wind. Reality and dreamworld forged into one. So strange to see your ideas take form and see it's shiny reflection on the water. I was totally flabbergasted by the reactions of the visitors, who were asked what their desires in life were. The frankness, the touching stories you would hear, the way people opened up their hearts to a total stranger were mesmerising. I designed this softly flowing object, but I could have never imagined the power and the attraction that it had on so many different people (old an young). It's really left me breathless and a bit clueless as well...:) Maybe I'm an artist/designer after all.

It goes without saying that this project never could have succeeded without the help of Mareado (the company who gave me the assignment), the company who build it and last but not least: the very enthusiastic and enigmatic interviewers without whom the touching stories never would have made it to my and other one's ears. So thanx everyone...it was a blast.

Finally It Happend...my D200

It took a while longer then expected, but yesterday evening I finally got my hands on my Nikon D200, made some testshots this morning (was to drunk yesterday...:)) My mission with this powermonster is not to get all serious because it is such a professional camera, but keep on experimenting and having lots of fun... If I stray from this chosen path in my photography life...please hit me...hard.

Childhood Memories

You used to love me when you were 3 feet tall.
Now I lie in a corner, forgotten and small.
The heartache of you growing up and me getting older....
Oh the bitter sweet memory of my head lying on your shoulder.
You used to love me when you were 3 feet tall.
Now I lie forgotten in a corner, next to your dolls.

I'm a bitch...

Been a bitch lately. Tired of people hurting my feelings and I thinking "Well it's only ...., I know he/she is only joking. Let's just smile and forget about it." F... off. I'm tired to try to spare other people's feelings while they don't feel obligated to do so with mine. People just get real spooked when I say what is really on my mind. I'm not the sweet and meek girl they think or want me to be. I guess it feels like the sweet cat you've been petting all your life, suddenly snarls, flings out it's claws and becomes the lioness you always missed seeing with your delusional eyes. People see and hear what they want to hear. I'm just a bit fed up with it all.

Summer has officially begun...

Yesterday we had a little party at number 65. All the neighbors and one special guest were there. We lived up to the expectations of artists; fun, blow, wine, sex and rock and roll (or house). With me as an innocent bystander of course. I didn't drink or blow, well actually I did, but did no kissy kissy and that sort of stuff...unfortunately. Because special guest...well, he's a hotty...:) Had big fun with one of my neighbors though, I like him a lot, think he does too....er...like me. But well no hanky-panky for me for a while, at least not with him, much too shy. But we had great fun playing the voyeur. Naughty miss J was on a roll last night, can't believe she did it, silly girl. And well mister special guest, you once again confirmed that men can't be trusted. What I said, there’s nothing manlike I don't know about... pity. Anyway the summer has officially begun, we opened the season with a bang, let this be a lonngggg one, with lots of hot and steamy summer nights.

Forgetful mind...

Oef, how stupid can I get. All right...I was sick, but that's no excuse to forget your nephew's 1st birthday...Auw.
Forgetful mind, stupid blubber of a brain, with the sounds of my brother's mix in the background, I can only say I'm sorry.
Sorry little one. Bad auntie, baadddd auntie.
Hope you had a wonderful time.
XxxX

Hello...speed things up...

I have been an angel of patience, but Scotty beamed up my pretty wings...so 'Bye bye Bojoura'...'Helloooo Bo'.
I found a guy I was really into, decided to take it slow and not become the proverbial rebound rebound girl.
But hell, everything is better then nothing at all, this 'relationship' has been in a non-place for months. Standing still, frozen in midair and making quite a show out of it. Not really friends, not really lovers and not having sex at all, since when did I become the saint of chastity. Spring is showing it's ugly head once more and my hormones are taking over. So sexy lovers around the globe...come out, come out...where ever you are...Bo is back in town.

Twisted Fate...

I wrote it yesterday..."I just heard the news today"...and now I just reading an email from a friend in America...she's had a brainbleed, and yesterday's words come rushing back in like a sick practical joke...to make matters worst is that a friend of mine called me to tell her sister died...Oi fate this is not funny!!!!! I'm not laughing...you better stop this now.............please...

I just heard the news today...

What would you do, if you heard the words "You have one year to live and then you die" coming from your doctor's mouth. Ten little words bouncing back and forth in your head like an echo in a wishing well. One year, 52 weeks, 356 days, 8.544 hours, 512.640 minutes, 30.758.400 fleeting seconds to spare...to live, to breath, to love.

What would you do? After stuttering words of disbelief, denial, livid rage and finally desperate tears drawing unspoken pleas down your skin....
What would You do?

How would you make amends with it and be sure you have no unfinished business when you cross that final border? What missing pieces would you fill? What would you be missing out on in your fate shortened life and how would you make your peace with that? What dreams would you just have to for-fill to complete your circle of life and love? Who would you have to say goodbye to.....How would you celebrate life.

Don't be scared that this is some twisted suicide note, or that I just returned from a devastating visit from my doctor D. It's not.
I just feel the jaws of fate trapping me into a life I don't want and it makes me think. Shouldn't you plan your life as if you have just one more year to live? No excuses to fall back on. No "When I have done this and that, then I will...". Only the hard and liberating fact of 356 days to complete your life and live it to the rim.

I think all comes clear when those words are spoken out loud, banging with a relentless never tiring force. There are only priorities and nothing else. Only people you want to be with and no more ghosts that live on your birthday calendar only.
Thankful for every breath and every gentle breeze. Just you and life, vibrating with every fibre...

My aura...

Your Aura is Yellow

You're a deeply happy and content person, and you enjoy sharing your cheer with others. While you may seem like a simple optimist, there is a lot of thinking going on inside you. The purpose of your life: bringing joy and a better life to others Famous yellows include: Conan O'Brien, Jenny Mccarthy, Jim Carrey Careers for you to try: Athlete, Actor, Yoga Instructor

What Color Is Your Aura?

Things To Do

I waited like 1 hour on a cold and windy trainstation in the middle of nowhere...just wanting to go home. A trip of about 30 minutes took me 2 hours...Our national railway compagny is making a fine art of being Late, Later and "Forget it, I ain't coming".
So much to do...so little time...

Smile...

....what can I say...am happy.

How to Measure Time....?!?

I'm at the Dark Side of the Force again...
Time is slipping away as we speak.
Where is that damn Pause or Rewind button when you need it...?!!!
2th of februari is storming in like it wants to be here in just one minute instead of the comforting haven of a couple of weeks.