Ghost of Me

December isn't my kind of month,
today isn't my day...I'm blue as blue can be.
Blue, well that's me.
December the month of dark nights with sparkling lights,
family,
Christmas carols sung with so much glee and one crying soul.
Well, that's me.

I feel wave after wave crashing in on my resolve to play the part of "I'm ok, I'm fine, no hurting here....really".
No "I wanna go to sleep and wake up in a new and bright 2007"
This year I can't seem to pretend.
Tear after tear keeps rimming my eye to the point of no return.
Drawing salty lines down my cheeks and making me feel weak and silly and oh so sad.
Mister tear, haven't you been here just last year, round the same month, the same day, the same hour?
Haven't I seen you before, oh dear...here we go again.

Every year it's the same thing all over again.
When the candles are lit, the tree stands proud, people gathering round...
I feel lonely, longing for something loved and lost...so precious, so fragile, so out of my reach.
I miss you Mom, more then words can say.
Wishing you were still here with me.
It's such a big world without your light to guide me, so big...and I'm so small
It's gonna be a lonely Christmas without you...again.